Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
well I can't set my house on fire every night
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
