Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize