I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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