have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
