He kissed a someone with a penis
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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