Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
