their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
