I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
