Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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