Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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