i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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