ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
