He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He better not be in your backpack
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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