So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
