yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
