boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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