Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
