By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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