my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
