I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
