If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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