Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
