Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
