You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize