I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
