Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
