i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
