Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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