Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
