got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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