fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize