I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
