Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize