sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
