Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
