so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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