My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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