Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
