I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
50% drunk capacity currently
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
