I feel great
I just peed on a car
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
