And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
