soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
