I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
