And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
