I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize