Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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