He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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