remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
