We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
