he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
