Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
