Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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