how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
