they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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