You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
