Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
